- At work, they call you a spiritualist because when you sit down at a meeting, the table floats. - Your face is very pale due to lack of blood. - When you walk into a sauna, everyone stands and applauds. They begin to call you "the tripod." - You begin to think your mother in law is pretty. - Sunbathing nude outside standing: Birds perch on it. - Sunbathing nude outside lying down: You look like a sundial. - Everyone at the bank, grocery, etc... lets you go to the front of the line... - Compared to you, Pinocchio doesn't look like such a liar. - You always lose limbo contests. - Lewinsky wants you to be president someday. - You can make drawings in the sand without having to find a stick. - You like to sleep on your back, so you had to remove the ceiling fan