The Best Signs Jokes and Joke E-mail List

"Friends don't let friends take home ugly men"
---Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

"The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open."
---Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

"Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die."
---Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL

"Beauty is only a light switch away."
--->Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.

"I've decided that to raise my grades, I must lower my standards."
---Houghton Library, Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts.

"If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives."
---Armand's Pizza. Washington, DC

Remember, it's not, "How high are you?", it's "Hi, how are you?"
---Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.

"God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?"
---The Irish Times. Washington, DC

"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."
---The Bayou, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

"No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of
putting up with her shit."
---Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill. Chapel Hill, North Carolina.

"At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry."
---Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.

"It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere."
---Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg, Arizona.

"If voting could really change things, it would be illegal."
---Revolution Books. New York, New York.

"A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have
trouble with it."
---Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.

"Express Lane: Five beers or less."
---Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's. Phoenix, AZ.

"If you love your boyfriend, have some class. Dont write his name where
you wipe your ass."


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