The Best Relationship Jokes and Joke E-mail List

The ABC's of ex wives

A is for Alimony ... the gift that keeps on giving.

B is for Balls ... which are now ours again.

C is for Court ... where you finally find out the
meaning of a good screw.

D is for Divorce ... the alternative to ax murder.

E is for Equitable Distribution ... another oxymoron.

F is for Flatulence ... finally we can let loose
without being criticized for causing the flowers to wilt.

G is for Gandhi ... someone you could actually say
had lost weight without having to lie.

H is for House ... which the bitch also got.

I is for Inmate ... where you also get to room with Bubba when the child support is late.

J is for Jewelry ... the former great equalizer.

K is for Kids ... the best of everything.

L is for Lawyer ... whose most recent vacation you
just paid for.

M is for Mother ... and Oh what a Mother Fucker!

N is for Not tonight, I have a headache.

O is for Overdrawn ... what your checking account
always was.

P is for PMS ... what we say: "No, honey, you don't look like you're retaining water." . . . what we mean, "No wonder there's a citywide drought."

Q is for Quarter ... what YOU get for each dollar
SHE gets.

R is for Rehearsal Dinner ... should never have
stayed for dessert.

S is for Sex ... thank goodness she rolled in her
sleep.

T is for Throat ... the anatomic area she goes for
in the settlement.

U is for UPS ... the delivery guy you are on a first name basis with, and who spent more time at your house than you did.

V is for Visa ... one of several cards she maxed
out.

W is for Wrong ... which you always were.

X is for X chromosome ... I swear some women have
more than two!

Y is for Yacht ... maybe the next guy will have one.

Z is for Zirconium ... I wonder if she ever figured out that all her diamonds were Cubic Zirconium.


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