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13. Videotaped "deposition" consists solely of Sharon Stone crossing and uncrossing her legs.

12. Judge Judy unleashes a stern tongue-lashing, telling everyone to "just grow up."

11. Senator Moe's frequent outbursts of "Why, I oughtta..."

10. Presiding Judge is wearing four gold stripes. And nothing BUT stripes.

9. Mandatory line dancing between votes.

8. Ten minutes into Hamburgler's testimony, you realize "Mayor McCheese" *isn't* a tacky name for Bill Clinton.

7. 15 minute recess involves a slide and monkey bars.

6. Strom Thurmond just moved.

5. George Will is presiding over the hearings and the "Rip Clinton a New Rectum" motion just passed.

4. No "Eau de Kennedy."

3. All testimony submitted in the form of a dirty limerick.

2. For $20, "Monica" allows anyone to play the part of "Bill" during the re-enactment.

1. Only vote against impeachment? Senator John Bobbitt.


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