MESSIAH CLIMAXES IN CHORUS OF HALLELUJAHS The Anchorage Alaska Times

GOVERNOR'S PENIS BUSY [should be "Pen Is"] The New Haven Connecticut Register

THANKS TO PRESIDENT CLINTON, STAFF SGT. FRUER NOW HAS A SON The Arkansas Plainsman

CLINTON PLACES DICKEY IN GORE'S HANDS Bangor Maine News

STARR AGHAST AT FIRST LADY SEX POSITION The Washington Times

CLINTON STIFF ON WITHDRAWAL The Bosnia Bugle

LONG ISLAND STIFFENS FOR LILI'S BLOW Newsday

ORGAN FESTIVAL ENDS IN SMASHING CLIMAX San Antonio Rose

PETROLEUM JELLY KEEPS IDLE TOOLS RUST-FREE Chicago Daily News

TEXTRON INC. MAKES OFFER TO SCREW COMPANY STOCKHOLDERS The Miami Herald

MARRIED PRIESTS IN CATHOLIC CHURCH A LONG TIME COMING The New Haven Connecticut Register

GOVERNOR CHILES OFFERS RARE OPPORTUNITY TO GOOSE HUNTERS The Tallahassee Democrat

WOULD SHE CLIMB TO THE TOP OF MR. EVEREST AGAIN? ABSOLUTELY! The Houston Chronicle