Good: Your son studies a lot in his room Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there Ugly: You're in them

Good: Your husband understands fashion Bad: He's a cross dresser Ugly: He looks better than you

Good: Your son's finally maturing Bad: He's involved with the woman next door Ugly: So are you

Good: You give the birds and bees talk to yourdaughter Bad: She keeps interrupting Ugly: With corrections

Good: Your wife's not talking to you Bad: She wants a divorce Ugly: She's a lawyer

Good: The postman's early Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47 Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas