9 In lieu of annual bonus, prefers a good scratching behind the ears.

8 Suddenly sports a beard when mooned at office holiday party.

7 Water cooler conversations always end with talk of "kickin' Ol' Yellar's

ass."

6 "Severance pay" has taken on a whole new meaning lately..

5 Vending machine always out of Milk Bones.

4 Your sarcastic little "Bite me!" nets you 12 stitches.

3 Always calls in sick with "mange."

2 Coughs up a hairball during morning staff meeting.

1 Has more hair on his back than you've got on your head, and he's NOT ED

ASNER!