The Best Jokes are at JokeCenter.com
| Best Jokes | New Jokes | Cartoons | Joke Photos | Joke Videos | Read Jokes | Tell us a Joke | Contact Us |
Categories
Beer Jokes109
Blonde Jokes288
Bush Jokes1
Business Jokes130
Cat Jokes8
Christmas Jokes80
Clinton Jokes46
Computer Jokes75
Confucius Jokes58
Doctor Jokes17
Education Jokes102
Entertainment Jokes44
Female Jokes39
Gender Jokes67
Golf Jokes23
Halloween Jokes40
Hannukah Jokes1
Insults Jokes50
International Jokes18
Jewish Jokes9
Lawyer Jokes68
List Jokes25
Male Jokes35
Mamma Jokes183
Medical Jokes119
Misc Jokes1061
News Jokes10
Pickup Jokes65
Politics Jokes113
Redneck Jokes62
Relationship Jokes266
Religion Jokes169
Scifi Jokes10
Sex Jokes446
Signs Jokes86
Sports Jokes47
Starwars Jokes13
Thanksgiving Jokes18
Viagra Jokes30
 


Return to the Medical Joke List

Hospital Charts

Joke submitted by: Anonymous


Actual writings on hospital charts:

1. She has no rigors or shaking chills , but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert butforgetful.

8. The patient refused autopsy.

9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

11. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. She is numb from her toes down.

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

15. The skin was moist and dry.

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

29. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.



272 voters gave this joke a 3.8 rating.
How would you rate it?
12345
Terrible (1) < - - > Outstanding! (5)

Read other good Medical jokes?

Send to Friend

digg digg this     delicious add to del.icio.us     StumbleUpon stumble it     Reddit reddit




Join Mailing List
Your E-mail Address:


Search
Search for:


Sponsored Links



| Best Jokes | New Jokes | Tell us a Joke | Contact Us |

| Imagine-NET.com | HouseofQuotes.com | JobsList.com | JokeCenter.com | LinkMania.com | SiteQuick.com |


Copyright 1998-2014 by Imagine-NET Internet Services - All Rights Reserved