8. Flames Like a Monster, Speaks Like a Pussy Cat

7. Works from 6:30am to 7:30pm Daily, No Morning Kisses, and No Evening Walks

6. No Matter How Hard You Cry and How Loud You Yell, Just Sits There Calmly Discussing Your Emotion in Terms of Mathematical Logic

5. Listens to Everything from Bach to Prince, Hates Classic Rock.

4. Twinkie and a Jolt 6-Pack Is a Seven Course Meal

3. Talks in Acronyms (TIA)

2. Can't Leave that Damn Pencil Off Ear for One Minute

1. Will File for Divorce If You Call in the Middle of Debugging their C code