ONE: Finding a Christmas tree. ****

TWO ---- Husband (2): Rigging up the lights, Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

THREE ------ The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Inebriated man (3): Hangovers, 2: Rigging up the lights, Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

FOUR ----- The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Frustrated man (4): Sending Christmas cards, 3: Hangovers, 2: Rigging up the lights, Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

FIVE ----- The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s, 4: Sending Christmas cards, 3: Hangovers, 2: Rigging up the lights, Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

SIX --- The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Frustrated wife (6): Facing my in-laws, Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s, 4: Oh, I hate those Christmas cards, 3: Hangovers, 2: Rigging up these lights, Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree. ****

SEVEN ------ The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Angry man (7): The Salvation Army, 6: Facing my in-laws, Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s, 4: Sending Christmas cards, 3: Oh, Jeez! 2: I'm trying to rig up these lights! Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

EIGHT ----- The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Loud kid (8): I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS! 7: Charities 6: And what do you mean, "your in-laws"?!? Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s, 4: Oh, making out these cards, 3: Edith, get me a beer, huh? 2: What? We have no extension cords?!? Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree. ****

NINE ---- The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Another frustrated man (9): No parking spaces, 8: DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!! 7: Donations! 6: Facing my in-laws, Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s, 4: Writing out those Christmas cards, 3: Hangovers, 2: Now why the hell are they blinking?!? Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

TEN ---- The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: Toy-commercial voice (10): "Batteries not included", 9: No parking spaces, 8: BUY ME SOMETHIN'!!!! 7: Get a job, ya bum!!! 6: (sobbing) Oh, facing my in-laws, Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s, 4: Yo, ho! Sending Christmas cards, 3: Oh, Jeez, look at this! 2: One light goes out, they ALL go out!!! Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

ELEVEN ------- The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: TV Critic (11): Stale TV specials, 10: "Batteries not included", 9: No parking spaces, 8: I GOTTA GO TO THE BATHROOM!!!! 7: Charities!! 6: (sobbing) She's a witch! I hate her! Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s, 4: Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people! 3: Oh, who's got the toilet paper? 2: Get a flashlight!! I blew a fuse!!! Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.

TWELVE ------ The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me: A few guys: Singing Christmas Carols, 11: Stale TV specials, 10: "Batteries not included", 9: No parking? 8: WAAAAAAH!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! 7: Charities! 6: Gotta make 'em dinner! Chorus: F i v e m o n t h s of b i l l s, 4: I'm not sending them this year, that's it! 3: Shut up, you! 2: FINE!! If you're so smart, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!!! Chorus: And finding a Christmas tree.