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Why I Fired My Secretary

Joke submitted by: Anonymous


One man explaining to another why he fired his secretary. "Two weeks ago," he said, "was my forty fifth birthday and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went into breakfast knowing that my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday" and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say "good morning" let along "Happy Birthday".


I said "well that's wives for you", the children will remember. The children came into breakfast and didn't say a word. When I started to the office, I was feeling pretty low and despondent.


As I walked into my office, Janet said "Good morning boss - Happy Birthday". I felt a little better, someone had remembered.


I worked until noon. About noon she knocked on my door and said "You know it's such a beautiful day outside and it is your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and I." I said "by George that is the greatest thing I have heard all day, lets go".


We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go. We went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said "you know it's such a beautiful day, we don't have to go back to the office, do we?"


I said "no, I guess not."


She said "let's go to my apartment." We enjoyed another martini and smoked a cigarette, and she said "boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable."


I assured her I didn't mind at all.


She went into the bedroom and in about five minutes she came out carrying a big birthday cake followed by my wife and children. All were singing "Happy Birthday" and there I sat with nothing on but my socks!




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